Month: June 2020

Once again, this is deeply personal for me. Covid-19 is still raging and back on the uptick and it appears as if our anxiety levels have elevated in sync with the new cases. This time and space has been a real wake up call for some, and for others it has left them stagnant and cold still wondering what was left to do.

My church family was given good sound spiritual and practical preparation for 2020. Did we know exactly what was going to happen and how it would happen? No, but we knew enough to formulate us to get our houses in order by stocking up with food, getting our papers in order and preparing for the financial crisis that is surely heading our way. Another major talking point was to get right with our families.

I have six sisters and a brother that I am in relationship with. There may be others but I don’t know them like that. I haven’t spoken with one of them for over two years and it is not because I haven’t tried. I trust the word of God and am obedient to his instructions at all times as best as humanly possible. During this pandemic, I made a push to do better and get that connection back on track and it still failed.

Why am I mentioning this? One of the major things I’ve learned as a blogger is you cannot blog and not be transparent. Now is the time to move on fixing those relationships if you haven’t begun yet. We are still in the midst of the pandemic and things will get worse before they get better. Your family support will become very essential to you in the months and year ahead. Looking back over this time, you may see that whatever it was that separated you, pales in comparison to what is going on in the world right now.

Not every relationship can and will be mended. The caveat is, you will never know if you don’t try. You have to know when to let go, and let God. If you seek his guidance through this process, he will keep you in peace and move you along until there is a time of reconciliation. He knows what he is doing and I believe that but we also need to put faith into action and start with a phone call, text message or email. Stop trying to “win” all the time and start trying to heal! The pandemic has caused enough apprehension, don’t feed it anymore.

We are still fighting the battle of systemic racism and if you are like me, you are seeing people you love here this morning, gone this evening. Don’t let anger and pettiness plague your heart. Do what you need to do on your end to let stuff go! You will feel much better and you may gain a family member back.  WE NEED EACH OTHER!

Have a GREAT weekend! Be Safe!

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves” – Ecclesiastes 4:12

Today I want to keep things simple and in the spirit of Father’s Day Weekend, give my thoughts on the weight and trials that the Fathers, in particular, our Black Men, are going through right now. Black Lives Matter. Our men’s lives matter. Fathers, husbands, sons, brothers, nephews & cousins alike. They all matter.

I salute you! Every day you wake now you have an added pressure of living life under the microscope. No one gets to hear the wonderful stories of what great “girl dads” you are before you are tragically removed from our lives just for being you.  They don’t see you seating having tea parties, dance-a-thons, reading stories or braiding hair. They never know how much we as your partners look forward to your warm embraces, tender touches and comforting voices. They could never imagine the dynamics that we have as a family, where laughter is essential and love is eternal.

What they see is a threat. Your beautiful skin, from light brown to midnight black and everything in between. Your build, strong, lean, powerful, thick. That voice, one that will make you jump out of your skin but is as smooth as silk. It’s what we love and what they fear. Why? The simple answer is that all women, including theirs love it too.

You are not a threat. We see you. We salute you. We know that there are many great Fathers out there doing the right thing by their sons and daughters and deserve the opportunity to do so. We have to change the narrative and we will. Brick by brick we are tearing down stereotypes and letting the world see you for who you are. We have got to go faster so that we can stop losing you.  There will be some Fathers who won’t be here tomorrow to be celebrated for the heroes and kings that they are.

 I’m weary of living in a constant state of anxiety and fear because I have black and brown men in my life. I’m bone tired of existing in a system that tells me every day that me and my people do not matter. IT’S NOT TRUE. BLACK LIVES MATTER. FATHERS YOU MATTER!!! The family needs you and we will keep you covered as we always have!

Be kind to the men in your life, the load they bear is a heavy one. We are built to be a great support system and in return, their strength keeps us motivated and moving forward. Together, as a team, there are no weak links!

Have a great day!!!

“The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family.” ―Reed Markham

My goal at the start of the pandemic in writing a blog was to help deal with the anxiety and trauma that being quarantined would bring. It has evolved into so much more because so much more has occurred. It is still my online journey and if I can reach just one, I would have accomplished something.
This morning I am feeling the overwhelming message of perseverance. Be encouraged and keep on pushing. The pandemic is not over, we maybe at the beginning of a second more deadly wave but God willing, that will not be the case. It is not too late to get to work on those projects that you have envisioned for yourself and you thought you’d do while we were “in the house”. Just because the rest of the world has opened up doesn’t mean you need to abandon your dreams and put them on a shelf for later. Now is the time.
It has been 17 days since the horrific murder of George Floyd. In those 17 days, arrests were made, laws have been changed, legislation is being introduced, people are being held accountable for their actions, confederate symbolism is being revoked, the power of the Black dollar is being exercised and conversations are being held across board rooms. Uncomfortable ones. Powerful protests are exposing the ongoing systemic racism across the globe in a major way, all because people, all types of people, are pushing through.
They are pushing through the loss of jobs, the loss of loved ones to Covid-19, the loss of loved ones to police brutality or the streets. The pain is real and it is raw. We have had enough. Fatigue is real. One common denominator for those who are in the good fight, for the long haul, is that we will get weary. But we won’t give up.
This week, I’ve battled like I never battled before in my life. In corporate America. I have a few small victories but there is still so much more to be done before I can take a triumph lap. I draw my strength from the Most High and wait patiently (sometimes)  for the answers to come through. I won’t give up because there is still so much to do and I am encouraged by the changes I see around me.
Keep doing what you are doing especially when no one is watching! Work hard in silence and let your success make the noise! Have a great day!

“It Always Seems Impossible, Until It’s Done” – Nelson Mandela

Morality deals with the principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior. It’s just that simple. Yet, in practice, so many have a hard time implementing such principles or putting into action what should be making the right decision when faced with doing the right thing.

Doing the right isn’t always ambiguous. It’s black or white. Seeing a fellow officer with his knee on the neck of a citizen, you intercede. Watching a fellow officer push an elderly man to the ground, you intercede.  Seeing another shopper eat grapes while shopping, shake your head and keep it moving. Context matters, and there are things no matter what the underlying explanation may be, what you are witnessing is wrong.

In the case of the officers, we can be told that the hurt individuals have committed egregious crimes thereby warranting such actions. That is the court of public opinion until tried in a court of law. The shopper, could have purchased their fruit beforehand and was enjoying it as a snack while shopping.

The world is in a state of unrest. Our morality, or lack thereof is being viewed through a microscope every day.  I’m proud of my family and friends who are stepping up in peaceful protests of the injustices we have endured for years and are willing to expose just how much bad behavior there is not only “out there” but also in their inner circles. Complacency is no longer a shield that can be used to hide which side of justice you stand on.

Big names like the quarterback Drew Brees, is finding out what the price of morality is when you put your finger in an open wound and refuse to hear what the nature of the cause of the wound is.  Jobs are being lost when individuals are being exposed for their bigotry. Social media is a hot bed for hateful vitriol. They are being called out, and the price is unemployment and embarrassment.

Ask yourself, in this day and age, when we are clearly being exposed, what is the price of morality you are willing to pay? Will you be brave and stand up for the least of them and help fight the good fight? Doing the right thing shouldn’t be hard. It should come easy especially if you have been doing it for a while!

I’ll leave you with this….last night I had a deep “morality“ conversation with my husband about what happens when doing the “right” thing may not be the practical thing to do. It was an insightful, necessary and provocative conversation. I posed this to him and to you. If I had three late warnings at work and was on final notice, and I encountered someone in distress while on my way to work who needed my assistance, what do I do? The person needing my assistance is a stranger, they need medical care, and the situation is serious. Even the slightest delay with waiting for someone else to come along and help me with them and I will be late and fired. Morally, what should I do? What price am I willing to pay here?

Have a blessed day and be safe!

Galatians 6:9

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.