Month: September 2020

Today is September 26th, 2020. My Mother would have been 69 years old today. There really is not a day that goes by that I do not think about or miss her tremendously. At a time like now, when there is so much going on in the world, it would not be unusual for us to speak 4 or 5 times a day. She would make me laugh and encourage me like only a parent could.
I am a strong woman. Not because I said so but because everything, I have been through has yet to knock me down. I have survived unthinkable physical, sexual, and emotional trauma throughout my life. Despite it all, I have walked with my head held high and achieved wonderful milestones in my existence.
My mother was an amazing Black mom. She was not without her flaws but like any normal human being, she did what I believed was her absolute best. As an African American woman, she was raised by her father because her own mother died when she was 3 years old. She raised 4 daughters pretty much on her own imparting wisdom into us that we carry with us today.
Some days I pick up the phone to call her. Reality kicks in and I am back to facing the world without my biggest cheerleader and support system. I am unable to tell her about how I am feeling about the situations at work while she listens with great interest or express how Covid-19 has really turned the world upside down. We would be discussing the current state of systemic racism and what it is doing to our country and us as individuals. Those moments will never happen.
One of the greatest lessons I learned from my mother is knowing my self-worth. Understanding who I am and never compromising my values. Integrity is everything and keeping your word is important. We as Black Women, are being shown more and more every day just how hard the fight for us is. The deck is stacked against us and we are in constant defense mode to protect ourselves from black men, white men, white women, and anyone else who sees us as a threat to their well-being.
History will show we are the fabric that keeps the world together. It is our fearlessness, intellect, tenacity, strength, and love that shows up and shows out when there are problems to be solved. We are most heavily to be relied upon to “fix it” and “keep it together” generation after generation. We have been bruised, broken, beaten, and raped from all sides without full protection since the beginning of time yet we maintained enough to raise scholars, scientists, doctors, musicians, and inventors of all kinds. Our contributions are endless.
Whether you are Black or not, women are the glue that keeps the family together. My mother, Wilma K. Cuthbertson, was our glue. Today for her birthday I will not mourn the absence of her but instead celebrate the lessons she gave me to in being a powerful woman and mom. We are to be believed, we are to be protected, we are to be loved and most importantly, WE ROCK!
I love you all. If you are fortunate to still have your mother or grandmother with you, take a moment this week to appreciate some of the lessons they may have taught you. I know every relationship has its own story but even in the ones that do not have happy endings, there are lessons there for life as well!
Be Blessed!

I’m on the phone with my husband. Literally crying about how I don’t know what to write about this week on my blog and he tells me to write what it is I am telling him in our conversation. He’s in BJ’s listening to people talk about the loss of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and I am going on and on about how that has set off my anxiety along with another event earlier this week.
On Thursday, the current white house resident held a history conference where he announced he would be launching a commission called the 1776 Commission as a direct rebuttal to the 1619 Project which he describes as “rewritten American history taught to our children that we were founded on the principle of oppression, not freedom.” He further goes on to say that such teachings are compared to child abuse. CHILD ABUSE. That’s almost as idiotic as the attorney general comparing wearing masks to SLAVERY.
Then, last night we loss an iconic woman in Justice Ginsburg. It is hard to grieve her death and not be fearful of what the future looks like without her here. She has been a champion for women, the LGBT community, civil rights, equal pay and so much more for her entire career. Pioneer is too small a word to describe and less than 20 minutes after the announcement of her passing, like vultures, the opposition was ready to swoop in and steal the spoils before real human emotions could settle in. That should frighten us all..
That wasn’t what bought the tears to my eyes however….. as my dear sister Mitchell says, go deeper. I went deeper. My heart ached. I got back to the very reason I started the blog. I felt compassion and empathy for all of the individuals who are oblivious to what is going on around them and how these nuggets of changes will affect them for the rest of their lives. No matter what side of politics you stand on, red or blue, change is coming,
We cannot be so firm on one side that we despise the other and wish to see them fail. Their failure also is our failure. We are the UNITED STATES of America. We may not agree, but we live together. We need to get back to the days where we could have opposing views but articulate with intelligence and display love for one another.
That is the way we win! A house divided will always fail!
I love you all to life. Pray for someone

It has been over 30 days since I last wrote a blog. I stepped back on August 1^st to take a few weeks to complete school and mentally refresh. Looking back, that feels like a lifetime ago and the whole purpose of the blog was to share what my anxieties are and not let them get the best of me. I did continue to journal privately. I had to. I also finished school ahead of schedule and can now humbly say I am a certified expert in Child Protection Law from Harvard!

This past week has amped up my unease like no other week this year. The closer we get to the election, the more my spidey senses tingle. I am ready to start an all-out revolution at work due to inaction on initiates that were put on the table over 90 days ago. Our national security is at great risk and we are spending more air time discussing what we already know about the deficiencies in the current White House resident rather than DOING something (my opinion) of course. The west coast is literally burning. On the anniversary of 9/11, I read that the current administration is siphoning funds, $4 million to be exact, from first responders. I re-live the agony with my sister of 9/11 every year as she must replay those moments as a survivor and it is painful, because you will never forget. She will never forget what it felt like to get out of that building with the chaos around her and we, her family, will never forget the hours in which we thought we lost her because of her great work ethic and how long it took to know she was alive.

This week also revealed the White House occupant withheld knowledge that the virus is deadly and he said nothing which could have saved tens of thousands of lives. I’m not surprised at that. I’m pissed. Not only have we lost people we loved, but there are people I know who are dealing with the after effects of having the virus and it will remain with them for quite some time. Where is the true outcry? Why are we still being sacrificed?

It’s also post Labor Day. By now, everyone should be back to school, but they are not. I was speaking to a friend of mine and her kids do not return until October. Say what? No plan, no guidance, no understanding whatsoever. I give kudos to all parents out here juggling parenting while trying to work and keeping the home afloat. If my child was of school age, I would be homeschooling her and making it work. Keep your heads up. Take this an opportunity to teach your children all of the things you feel they have missed out on in the regular school system while making sure they understand the basics that they would be getting while in school.

There is so much more. However, I am not ready for it, just yet. I suffered a horrible Lupus flare-up that begin last Saturday. My body fought the stress that my mind was ingesting. I need to do better…. I’m glad to be back with you guys to talk things through. Today was not about any particular subject. It’s about taking all of these things in and knowing that I cannot change the outcomes alone and handing it over to my Heavenly Father. You do what works for you. That is what works for me.

You’ll never be any good to help someone else, if you first fall apart yourself. Take time for self-care and mental rest. It is essential. The rest of 2020 is sure to be as capricious as the beginning and you want to be at your strongest.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month. You are NEVER alone. If you or someone you know needs help, please call 800-273-8255 or suicidepreventionlifeline.org

I Love You All!