Month: November 2020

Have a safe and enjoyable weekend! We will get back to chatting next weekend. I’m resting and I hope you are doing the same!

Love you all!

This morning I am reflecting on my family. I had a dream last night James Bond style which involved one of my cousins and my mother and I woke up thinking about all the people I love who I call my family. It’s not just my blood relatives, I have bonus children, bonus siblings, bonus cousins, and friends who are close like siblings, but we share no DNA.
It’s not lost that this is the kick-off to the holiday season with Thanksgiving being right around the corner. My siblings and I had planned on getting together with our children however with the rise in the Covid-19 cases we exceed 10 people. It will not happen, and it makes my heart hurt.
My bonus children are in town and I cannot spend time with them. They are here for reasons outside the normal visits and due to COVID-19 I must be cautious and maintain a safe distance. I also must allow for them to take care of the business at hand that brought them into town and that makes my heart hurt.
I received an invitation to my cousin’s 50th birthday party which is next month. I love my cousin, and these are the “fun” cousins to be around. I do believe the state restrictions and restaurant shutdowns will dictate how that ends however given my own personal underlying conditions and the rise in the COVID-19 cases, I hadn’t confirmed yet I was attending. That makes my heart hurt.
I have 2 friends from high school. One male and one female. I call them my brother and my sister. We are close like triplets. We group chat and make every effort to get together and stay connected. Since the pandemic has started, we have not gotten together although we catch up on a regular basis. I miss their faces. It may be another half year or more before I can see them and that makes my heart hurt.
Even though she is not family, my boss is moving to another state and we have been remote since March. I offered to help her finish packing up the light stuff 😊 so that we could spend an afternoon together before she left. She is a friend and an avid supporter of mine who has been instrumental in my career development over the past few years. The risk of going to seeing her now would be too much and that makes my heart hurt. She is moving on the other side of the country but there is nothing I can do. COVID-19 is real.
My point is this pandemic is real. Covid-19 is still real. Now is not the time to get lax. We all want to see our family and friends and may feel tempted to throw caution to the wind. Once your life is gone, you cannot get it back. Don’t go out there thinking you will be the exception. The virus does not care who you are or what your plans are.
In the past 3 weeks, the virus has come closer to me than I feel comfortable with. People that I know who have been practicing social distancing and washing their hands while masking up found themselves testing positive. What that tells me is that we still do not have a great sense on how dangerous this virus is and how easily it can be spread. With the best efforts, they still contracted it.
There are no do-overs. Wear your mask! Wash your hands! Stay at Home! Spend Thanksgiving and the remaining holidays with the ones in your household. Perhaps you can add a trusted few if you have been interacting with them all along. Do not gamble with your health for a few hours of family time. Plan on a lifetime of getting on each other’s nerves. It will be worth it!
I love you. Until next time, be safe…!

Which American are you? It has been 11 days since we all voted in the most historic election of our lifetime. More people voted on November 3rd, 2020 than ever before. 72,770,766 voted for the current white house resident. 78,142,360 voted for his opponent, Joe Biden. America has spoken and spoken loudly!
What has been troubling since November 3rd is the countless, baseless claims of voter fraud. One side feels that the other side is stealing the election with “illegal” and “fraudulent” votes. Votes that were cast through mail in ballots or absentee ballots. Statistically those votes overwhelming favor the Democratic Party while same day voting favors the Republicans so I can see why the Republicans were scared.
Millions of individuals played it safe. We mailed in or dropped off our ballots this year. There is a uncontrolled pandemic out there whereas of this morning, there are 10.8 million cases and 245,555 deaths. An alarming trend of increased cases has been happening over the past few days. This is not unexpected if you have been paying attention all along. We were told it would get worse before it gets better and that the fall would show an increase. We want to live and see democracy realign while the average supporter on the other side does not believe the pandemic is real and chooses to ignore what is happening right in front of their faces.
There is so much to unpack that I hardly know which direction to bring this in. Which American are you? Let’s talk about the American people who are constantly being referred to in the news media depending on the news source you are watching. Are you the American people who have spoken and decided that the current president is our savior and has had the election stolen from him and he should continue to fight for what is his? These American people, 72 million of them, have made their choice and decided that money is the greatest motivator. Money, power, racism, xenophobia, disrespect of our military, disrespect, and assault (proven) of women and the list goes on. This is what 72 million people said they wanted. Over 60% do not have access to 401(k) plans and the stock market so I suspect some of his other fine qualities appealed to them.
The “other” American people, the 78 million, the ones who stood in line for 8 hours or more to vote, or had to drive 3-4 hours to a polling station because the number of polling stations were reduced in their area, or had ballot boxes removed, are they not American? I mean, these are overwhelming Black and Brown individuals who are once again being targeted and told their voices don’t matter. Their votes don’t count. It is voter suppression at its best. All because they did what was best for themselves and their families by staying home during a raging pandemic to protect those whom they love around them. The virus disproportionally affects the Black and Brown communities as well in areas of poor health (diabetes/high blood pressure/obesity), inability to socially distant, limited health care and economic failure.
The hope for the future that will ease the anxiety of today is that the new administration will look at ALL the AMERICANS that voted and find a common thread to weave this country back together. It is not going to be easy and it is not going to happen overnight. It will take time, perhaps decades to undo the DIVIDE of what is the UNITED STATES of America. I’m willing to do my share.
We begin by humbly accepting defeat. We also graciously accept the “win”. A win for one is not a win if it does not benefit all. It may feel good to give someone back what they gave you what 4 years ago when your candidate lost but we will never heal if we don’t take a small step towards each other. Ask yourself, which American am I? The answer should be, the same as you!
Let’s start talking and getting rid of those elephants!
Have a blessed day!

Happy Post Election Saturday! We still don’t know “officially” who will be our next President although the numbers are giving us a fairly good indication of where we are heading. I’m not here to gloat about who may win or not win. That is not why I’m celebrating. As far as I’m concerned, there are no true winners here and we were destined to lose as our democracy has been stomped on and it will take years to repair.

I’m going to delve into that much more in the weeks to comes because as part of the anxiety I live with, the issues that ail me are how do we get back to being “united” when we are so divided and we refuse to address the elephant in the room. That exceptionally large elephant has sat its behind down in the middle of the floor and will not be ignored. There is no way we walk around it now.

So today, I want to instead celebrate. 2020 has been a tough year to say the least for many individuals. Personally, it has been an utterly unique balance of blessings and world related tragedies. In my own life, I have fared pretty well.

Today, my beautiful daughter turns 25 years old and it reminds me of the struggles that I have suffered to become a mother. I didn’t deal with infertility however my body could never carry a baby to its full term. I lost more children than I’d like to discuss and one day I’ll open up about that issue and the trauma around that. I had to essentially decide to give up my ability to procreate at an incredibly young age in order to save my own life.

God blessed me however with an angel. I don’t take that lightly nor do I let 1 day go by without letting her know how blessed I am to have her in my life. If ever there is a time, I start to feel sorry for myself, I remember the biggest blessing for all of us, life. I choose to enjoy it and not squander it away no matter what is going on around me.

I know that is easier said than done, but it is possible. I pray we are all being safe, and we stay mindful of the rising cases of COVID-19. It is not always about you.

Until next time, enjoy yourself! I love you!