Month: April 2021

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. I have a group of colleagues who I don’t actually work with however through one meeting last year and none since, we exchanged email addresses. We are now in an email chain where were share our daily gratitude’s and there is only one rule. You cannot use the obvious. You are challenged to stretch beyond your imagination and be appreciative of the things you normally take for granted and stop and say thank you.

I’ve been doing this for over a year. Some people get real creative with theirs and send memes and other things to depict their gratitude. I usually come straight out with it. At first, it seemed hard to find things to name without listing the most obviously but then it got so easy I had to decide which three to share with the others. Yesterday, I shared one that got a lot of feedback.

I told them I was grateful for my mid-morning attitude adjustment. I woke up, I saw that I had a 9 am meeting and with whom and instantly got into a foul mood. Really foul. 2 minutes into the meeting the client said something that turned my attitude from 100 to 1. My day instantly got better. I KNEW that God had heard my prayer and I was so grateful that I didn’t let that situation ruin the rest of my day.

How many times have we bypassed the “little” things that we should be grateful for? I’m grateful when I make it to the car before the skies open up and my umbrella is in the back seat. I’m grateful for the times I order my food from a fast-food place and they actually get it right! That struggle is real!!! How about the times you go to McDonalds and the ice cream machine is actually working?

We should all be thankful and full of appreciation for our families, our lives, our jobs and our health. Having a roof over our heads and food to eat, of course. We have gotten so entitled and expectant of what it is that we “ought” to have that we don’t really appreciate the small things that we actually get.

How annoyed are you when someone you don’t really want to talk to calls you constantly to check in on you? The next time you get annoyed, think about the person who doesn’t have anyone checking on them at all. Our mindsets are geared to be self-encompassing. We miss the big picture of when there are people placed around us to fulfil a need, we may not know needs fulfilling. Gratitude is the quality of being thankful, readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

It literally costs us nothing to pass out gratitude. When the cashier wants to double bag your grocery but you only want a single bag, be grateful that they thought enough about you to want to protect your food from falling through and kindly ask them not to do it. Seconds is all it takes. I’m guilty of reacting first and not always being grateful for someone else’s kind acts. And truthfully, not everyone has kind intentions when interacting with you. Your heart knows. Take a moment.

I’ll leave you with this. Here is what I am grateful for today. 1) Not being on hold with Verizon for a long time. As a matter of fact, they picked up right away. This is not typical of my experience with them. 2) Finding the perfect gift for someone at the last minute. I usually like to shop well in advance. 3) Feeling refreshed. I was plagued with fatigue for most of the week.

As you begin a new week, start to make it a habit of at least telling yourself what you are grateful for each and every day. You will begin to see that it will improve your mood and give you a greater appreciation of life itself. When we concentrate on all that is wrong, the negative energy drains us physically and emotionally. This is a good way to find balance. Sure, there is a lot going on and that is not to be ignored. The important thing about self-care is knowing you always have to find a way to counter the pain with joy.

Bonus: I am grateful always you are here and taking time to read and support me!

Until next time, be safe and be happy!

I love you all!

Every week or so I reflect on what seems to be a common thread in my life, a trending moment or pressing issue of the time. Once I narrow that down, I meditate on what I should share via my blog. I tell you this because I sometimes want to go in one direction and my Holy Spirit will press upon me to go in another. That is what is happening now. I do believe our shared experiences help one another so I will continue to let the Holy Spirit lead me.

These past 10 days have shown me varying degrees of my friendships and with the continuing loss of life around us, it is important to ask yourself, are you a valuable friend to someone or is someone a valuable friend to you? Understand, those two things do not mean the same thing. My church’s morning prayer series touched upon friendship as well so it seems there is no escaping this for me.

I know a lot of people. Many people would say I am a great friend to them and say that they love me and they know that they could count on me to be there when they need me. Why? Is it because I show up when I say I will? Is it because no matter how much time goes by, if you need me, I will be there? Is it because you can count on me for a truthful assessment of your situations without the usual sugarcoating that keeps you held back?

As painful as this may be for many, I only consider a handful of people my friends. I don’t have to tell them who they are. They know. They are the ones who see the authentic me, call me out for my mess and aren’t afraid that conflict will divide us. They love me no matter what and have shown up for me when I was at my lowest points in life.

My very best friend is also my life partner. He vowed to love me through it all and in this past week, after 20 years together, he made me remember why being his best friend was equally as important as being his wife. He said and did something a best friend would do when they knew their friend had reached the end of their rope. It wasn’t like it was the first time, it just happened to come at the right moment.

My sister, 13 months older than I, is my best friend. I don’t keep secrets or lie to her ever. I reveal my shortcomings and insecurities and know that there will be no judgement. She gives me support and kicks in the butt when I cross the line. I’m human, I make mistakes and she love me enough to tell me when I need to correct them.

Friendships are hard. People will say that they shouldn’t be but it is of my opinion that they are. They require the same level of time and attention that you would give your relationships in order for them to work. Respect has to have a major role. Truth must be applied in all conversations. You can’t be afraid to be at odds and think that conflict will tear you apart.

I know where my friendships stand. Much like plants, I know which ones need daily watering, weekly watering and a few droplets here and there to survive. I know the measure of a true friend is not the length of time we’ve known each other but the value we bring to each other.

My friends are a part of who I am. They are valuable to me and I hope I am valuable to them. When the antics of the world drive me crazy and I feel like I want to scream, it is these valuable friendships that I have grown to appreciate and love. There are days I laugh so hard I cry and the back of my head hurts. I am living in a space where I have decided to not sit on the sidelines but instead get involved in making this world a better place for generations to come. In order to do that, the balance from the chaos is found with the friends who keep me grounded.

A solid friendship is foundational. You have been through it together. You have laughed, you have cried and you have worked your way through a disagreement or two. One of my other closest friends could write a book about how we have weathered the storm. He is my rock and I am his. We are both strong-willed so we disagree often and have for over 30 years. The bottom line is however, in a New York minute, I am there for him and vice versa. We love each deeply and our foundation is strong. We are family now.

I’m taking stock now. I don’t plan on cutting people off. That will happen naturally. I am re-evaluating how invested people are in being a true friend to me, and I to them. We are going to need each other.

My click is strong!

Thank you for being a friend!

Until next time, be safe!

These past couple of days I have spent a great deal of hours around some very interesting people. I am learning a lot about myself, and those around me. I have lived long enough to not be surprised by much however ever so often I walk away from a conversation with a bit of disbelief that that someone could actually say what came out of their mouth.
I’m at a four-day conference run by the Privilege Institute. The conference itself is called the White Privilege Conference and it has not yet disappointed me. At first, I was upset it would take up my whole Saturday but now I honestly feel like I can go another three or four days and it still wouldn’t be enough. Sessions are running from sun up to sun down with minimal breaks in between and I am TIRED. I’m physically tired, emotionally drained and tired of listening to the same excuses over and over again.
There is no way I could sum up 20 plus sessions in one blog. The information is just too rich and frankly my emotions are too raw. Two things stuck out in my mind that I wanted to discuss first. I’ll delve into more topics as the weeks continue on and most definitely when a verdict comes down in the trial of Derek Chauvin.
First issue, or conversation that I want to say activated emotional reactions from me was the “safe Black” conversation. What is a safe Black person? Or should I say whom is a safe Black person? Having spent my entire life being welcomed by ALL races and knowing they find me unassuming; this is a rhetorical question. Sitting in the “room” with them and being able to have an open and honest dialogue about why they separate individuals, not just people of color, into safe and not safe spaces was a life changing experience. As honest as some tried to be, they could not explain it.
Next, there was an overwhelming need to not scream when several individuals put on a defense mechanism of saying, “I don’t see color”. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE COLOR??? By not seeing color, you are invalidating my very existence. They definitely did not see it that way, they thought it was a “safe” way to approach race relations. I debunked that myth for them. I also took it further and explained why. That is what is missing.
We have lost our humanity. We are no longer communicating. We have watched as our prior administration gave permission to many of our neighbors, colleagues, doctors, teachers, attorneys and so on to be as open with their privilege as they want to be and not bear any level of consequence. This can not continue to happen. We must, and should engage in crucial conversations no matter who is in the room. Crucial conversation has to happen in order for change to be enacted!
Privilege is not power!
The way forward is to talk and breakthrough the myths that we have about each other. Black Lives Matter! Stop Asian Hate! Protect our LGBTQ+ community! You want to be an ally, start by educating yourself. Allyship crosses community lines. Intersectionality is real.
It’s time to stop “understanding” and time to start “believing”. Our trauma is real. It won’t be fixed overnight.
We need to call in and not call out so our healing can be authentic and lasting!
Time to go… A new session will be beginning.
Until next time, be safe and be kind. We do need to work together on all sides!
Love you all!