These past couple of days I have spent a great deal of hours around some very interesting people. I am learning a lot about myself, and those around me. I have lived long enough to not be surprised by much however ever so often I walk away from a conversation with a bit of disbelief that that someone could actually say what came out of their mouth.
I’m at a four-day conference run by the Privilege Institute. The conference itself is called the White Privilege Conference and it has not yet disappointed me. At first, I was upset it would take up my whole Saturday but now I honestly feel like I can go another three or four days and it still wouldn’t be enough. Sessions are running from sun up to sun down with minimal breaks in between and I am TIRED. I’m physically tired, emotionally drained and tired of listening to the same excuses over and over again.
There is no way I could sum up 20 plus sessions in one blog. The information is just too rich and frankly my emotions are too raw. Two things stuck out in my mind that I wanted to discuss first. I’ll delve into more topics as the weeks continue on and most definitely when a verdict comes down in the trial of Derek Chauvin.
First issue, or conversation that I want to say activated emotional reactions from me was the “safe Black” conversation. What is a safe Black person? Or should I say whom is a safe Black person? Having spent my entire life being welcomed by ALL races and knowing they find me unassuming; this is a rhetorical question. Sitting in the “room” with them and being able to have an open and honest dialogue about why they separate individuals, not just people of color, into safe and not safe spaces was a life changing experience. As honest as some tried to be, they could not explain it.
Next, there was an overwhelming need to not scream when several individuals put on a defense mechanism of saying, “I don’t see color”. HOW DO YOU NOT SEE COLOR??? By not seeing color, you are invalidating my very existence. They definitely did not see it that way, they thought it was a “safe” way to approach race relations. I debunked that myth for them. I also took it further and explained why. That is what is missing.
We have lost our humanity. We are no longer communicating. We have watched as our prior administration gave permission to many of our neighbors, colleagues, doctors, teachers, attorneys and so on to be as open with their privilege as they want to be and not bear any level of consequence. This can not continue to happen. We must, and should engage in crucial conversations no matter who is in the room. Crucial conversation has to happen in order for change to be enacted!
Privilege is not power!
The way forward is to talk and breakthrough the myths that we have about each other. Black Lives Matter! Stop Asian Hate! Protect our LGBTQ+ community! You want to be an ally, start by educating yourself. Allyship crosses community lines. Intersectionality is real.
It’s time to stop “understanding” and time to start “believing”. Our trauma is real. It won’t be fixed overnight.
We need to call in and not call out so our healing can be authentic and lasting!
Time to go… A new session will be beginning.
Until next time, be safe and be kind. We do need to work together on all sides!
Love you all!
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